Shawna Barker Rollins

Today was Shawna's funeral. It was a beautiful service. She touched the lives of so many people, and so many people love her and will miss her.

I'm sobbing even as I type this. I loved her so much. Our whole family loved her, and we love her husband Brad. Shawna was like family. This is the first time I've lost someone really close to me, and I've been having a really hard time dealing with it. I've been praying for her family and for Brad; the Lord is really helping me through this. It's hard to believe she's gone, but it's comforting to know that I'll see her again.

I'm so grateful for my wonderful family-it's a blessing to know that we are there for one another. I'm also grateful for wonderful friends who care for me. I'm grateful for the Lord, I honestly don't think I could have gotten through the past week without His love and help.

Brad and Shawna

Brad and Shawna are our next door neighbors. We have known them for years-they call us their three daughters next door. Whenever one of us has a big event like going to prom or homecoming, or a birthday, Brad and Shawna come over and take pictures, and Brad interviews the guys (after my dad does). Shawna loves to babysit our pets when we go out of town; she fell in love with my Betta fish while watching over him while we were in Hawaii. Shawna would place him on the counter and turn the TV on for him. It excited her that the fish would get excited and swim to her when she went to feed it (because the fish didn't do so with Brad).

One time my parents went out of town over night, and the three of us had a sleep over at Brad and Shawna's. We ate pizza and watched Jaws. I can remember Brad rewinding one part over and over-the part where Brody tells this one dude that it was a massive shark killing the swimmers and the guy goes, "A Whaaat?" He says it in a real high-pitched voice and I laugh when thinking about how many times Brad rewound that part. Shawna told Brad it was ridiculous and to stop rewinding it. I have so many fond memories of Brad and Shawna together. At the time, Brad was working for a frozen pizza company or something so those were the pizzas we were eating. Shawna said she wanted the good stuff and made Brad order a pizza from Brick Oven. When the Brick Oven pizza finally arrived Shawna was ready for bed and told Brad to stick it in the fridge for the next day. Brad just smiled.

Shawna had a massive coronary on Thursday and has been in a coma since then. They found out today that she has lost a lot of brain activity; it is only a matter of time before they turn off life support. Shawna was so full of life, it's hard to see her in the hospital hooked up to a million different tubes and a respirator. I like to think of Shawna in her shorts and hat walking her dogs around the neighborhood. I like to think of Shawna driving around in her convertible; we all had turns driving it when Brad and Shawna first got it (I think we were all under 16 at the time). When I think of Shawna, I'm going to think of her laughing and full of energy.

I am so heartbroken to lose her. I am heartbroken for Brad and their family. Everyone loves Shawna so much. We are blessed to have had her in our lives, and we are going to miss her a lot. The Lord sustains us in our trials, I know He will take care of Brad and the loved ones Shawna leaves behind. I am grateful that this is not the end, that we can see Shawna again.

I fell asleep in class today...

I was up really late last night reading Alexander Pope's Essay on Man, and Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal. I had an essay on the readings due in class the next day. You know, it was like reading a foreign language at first. I haven't read any intellectual English literature since high school, I've been too busy with my science mumbo jumbo. When I have free time I can promise you I don't read Alexander Pope or Jonathan Swift, I read a bunch of mindless fluff.

Anyway, I was up late last night and fell asleep in my humanities class today.

I probably looked a little something like this:

Except there was drool running out the corner of my mouth. Yep. Drool. There was drool on my shirt when I woke up. Who knows how many people saw me! My class is an honors class-it's really small so I KNOW the teacher did. He probably wondered who the loser was with the drool coming out of her mouth and puddling on her shirt.

I wish I could say that this was the first and ONLY time this has every happened, but it's not.

How is a person supposed to stay awake when the lights are dim, the teacher talks really soft and there isn't a smidgen of caffeine to be found on campus? Seriously people, I need some ideas.

Bumpits

This is Springville/Utah County hair. (I stole the pictures from other peoples' blogs, I didn't put the rats nest comment but I don't totally disagree).

Please notice the Poof in the back and the straight hair in the front.

That's right, plastic hair inserts to poof up your hair.

Jordan and I were feeling sorry for ourselves so we decided to go

"From Flat to Fabulous in Seconds!"

We went to Walgreens and invested in some Bumpits. We were bound and determined to get Springville hair. Jordan went all out and put on a tube top.

A variation of Springville hair. Poofy ponytail.

I tried soooo hard to get Springville hair but it didn't really work. I just couldn't get the poof!

You can barely see the bump! My head is so round and huge that the Bumpit evens it out. I'm totally NOT going to wear it out in public though.

Though I didn't totally accomplish the Springville look, we had fun with our Bumpits!

I've found a new respect for Springville poofs, they're harder to create than you would think!

I'm In Love

No, not with Mark Sanchez. But can I just say "WOW!" I think I will start watching football more often. My dad and I watched the Jets/Bengals game and I discovered Mark. At first I was rooting for the Bengals because their helmets are cool...but I think I can live with the fact that the Jets won.

He was the star quarterback for USC... I applied there for graduate school. He's Mexican, I'm part Mexican. Maybe this is a sign that I should go to USC if they let me in, and that I should watch football on a regular basis.

I'm in LOVE with my new cats!

This is Dean. He is about four or five months old and very playful. He's as feisty and cute as can be.

This is Keegan, he's about 1 year old. Keegan is an Irish/Gaelic name that means "small flame, or ardent."

Keegan is kind of shy, but very cuddly. He sits real happily in your arms and purrs while Dean runs all over chasing things. Keegan is so lovable.

My Mom and Jordan drove out to Kanab, to visit the Best Friends Animal Society. They are a shelter that accepts all strays and doesn't euthanize them. They go into situations where animals are mistreated and rescue cats and dogs. They even care for animals that are unadoptable because of cabrónes like Michael Vick; some of those dogs will never be able to go home with people because they are so messed up. They have a home at Best Friends though. Everyone that works at the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab is happy and loves all the animals. My Mom said that four people came out to say goodbye to Keegan when they found out he was being adopted.

Keegen was found by park rangers on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. He was huddled in a dilapidated barn; it had recently snowed and there were no footprints around so they knew he was hiding in there for a while.

Dean was dropped off with his brothers and sisters to the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary when they were 10 days old.

Check out my dad's "guns." He works out.

Thank you Best Friends, we are all so happy! I still miss Sugar and think of her a lot, but I'm happy to have my new cats.

I still can't sleep

It feels like I haven't slept in ages. I lie awake all night exhausted but unable to fall asleep.

I told this to my mom last night and then asked her if she'd give me one of her Ambiens. She said:

"Yeah, sure." and pointed towards her bathroom and continued,

"On the far right in your dad's medicine cabinet you'll find his prescription... it's marked Ambien CR. They're little round blue pills... did you find them?"

I helped myself to one of his pills and went to bed. I woke up at midnight and threw up (I guess that's your punishment when you skip Relief Society to go to out to eat with your sister and friends).

I finally fell back asleep only to wake up a few hours later with the cramps from hell. Sorry if that's too much info... the name of my blog is Upchuck Online after all. That's the great thing about blogs; you can write anything you want even if you don't have anything significant to say-especially if you don't have anything significant to say. I look back over my old posts and it turns out I don't have anything significant to say. Seriously, I blog about my coats! How lame is that? Now I'm blogging about puke and cramps.

I need something inspirational to blog about. Hmmm...

Okay, how about this:

Did you know that you can clone a mouse from a stem cell? You can totally bypass the whole sperm and egg thing, and grow an entire mouse. A stem cell is a type of cell that has the potential to become any type of cell in the body-like a skin cell, or a heart cell, or a kidney cell. Now scientists are showing that stem cells can become an entire organism- a clone of the mouse you took the stem cell from.

Get this, you can take a skin cell or a heart cell or a kidney cell and turn it into a stem cell. You add certain DNA that programs the skin cell to revert back to a stem cell. It's called an Induced Pluripotent Stem Cell or an iPS cell. I worked on helping to make iPS cells over the summer in Mario Capecchi's lab-did I mention I worked for 2007 Nobel Laureate Mario Capecchi? Okay, I did. Like a million times.

Now scientists are taking iPS cells, and cloning entire organisms from them! They took some skin cells off of a mouse tail (or whatever I don't remember what cells they used), turned them into stem cells, and then took the stem cell and grew an entire mouse! Theoretically, I could snatch one of your hairs, turn the living cells at the follicle into stem cells and then clone you.

Watch out.

That may sound kind of like the twilight zone, but I think it's inspiring. Some day they are going to be able to use this kind of technology to grow hearts and livers for people, or to treat diabetes. Scientists will be able to take skin from your body, and grow you a new liver that your immune system won't reject.

This kind of stuff is so fascinating to me- it's why I want to go to graduate school and be a molecular biologist.

I Can't Sleep

Don't you hate when it's the middle of the night and you can't sleep because a million different things are running through your mind?

After cyber-stalking people on Facebook and checking everybody's blogs I mustered up the courage to check my grades. This past semester wasn't my greatest. Oh well. At least I passed physics- I was afraid that I would have to retake it (I got 39% on the final... you'd think I'd be too ashamed to let you all know my score). My senior year at BYU is starting to be affected by the "I-don't-shiv-a git- syndrome" that plagued me senior year at Dalat International School in Malaysia. I do want to get into graduate school so I guess I'll shape up next semester. I'm taking biochemistry... doesn't that sound delightful???? I worked with a biochemist over the summer- he said it's cool stuff and that it's different from organic chemistry. I'm still suspicious because it is chemistry after all.

I went and saw Where the Wild Things Are at the dollar movie.

I really, really wanted to like it, but it was soooo depressing (much like this post?). I also fell asleep through part of it, maybe I missed something important. I couldn't wait for it to end.

On the other hand,

Avatar was AMAZING!

My little sister's boyfriend Brandon has a good review here. He sure knows a lot about movies.

Check it out!!! I went and got a pedicure today.

Ugly toes are unacceptable-they are an abomination. Even in the middle of winter when you can't wear sandals and people don't see them. You might think my toes are pretty ugly-pedicure or not. Don't tell me though because it would offend my sensibilities and injure my vanity. This obsession with feet stems from my parents. My whole family is obsessed with feet. The first thing we look at when people step on the elevator or pass us as the grocery store is their feet- if they've got sandals on. I'm pretty sure I've posted about feet before. You don't have to get expensive pedicures but if you're going to wear sandals the least you could do is cut your nails and clean the dirt out of them.

I was hoping to see some whales while in Hawaii.

I didn't see any, but then again I didn't look very hard. I laid around like a beached whale-it's about as close as I got. I don't even know if killer whales migrate to Hawaii. I bet other whales do. I think whales are my new favorite animal... right up there with elephants.

I'm getting sleepy. Hope my rambling didn't make you sleepy.